The Art of Productive Panic

Or Why Your Tupperware Cupboard is Suddenly Immaculate

It's that strange time of year. The relatives have gone home. The ham is finally finished. And you are standing in your kitchen at 11 am, staring at the floor.

You have mopped and vacuumed it three times. You have scrubbed the grout. If a forensic team from a crime lab swept your lounge room right now, they wouldn’t be able to prove you even owned a dog.

Read in this article

You aren't just cleaning. You are optimising! You are color-coding the pantry. You are re-organising the garage shelves because "it’s about time I sorted those screws by thread size".

So what's happening here?

Interestingly, if we put your brain under a scanner right now, we’d see something fascinating. You don't feel scared. You feel productive. But your amygdala is lighting up like a Christmas tree.

• You are tidying up because, deep down, just below the threshold of your conscious awareness, your ancient biological brain is terrified.

The Control Paradox

Psychologists call this Compensatory Control.

The theory goes like this: The human brain craves order. But the world—especially after a chaotic Christmas or looking ahead to a new year—is inherently messy and unpredictable. We can’t control the economy. We can’t control our aging parents' health (no matter how many vitamin gummies we hide in their lolly jar on their bedside table). We can’t control the future.

When the brain faces that much ambiguity, it hits the panic button. It screams for Order.

But because you can’t order the ‘Big Stuff,’ your brain frantically searches for the nearest thing it can control.

So, you don't solve the big, scary, complex life admin issues. Instead, you reorganise the Tupperware cupboard (that metastasised last year after an IKEA sale to take over the entire corner cupboard - oh the social shame - and who knows what's in there now) . You curate the bookshelf, by colour, topic or author. You create a spreadsheet for a holiday you haven't booked yet and you may even give the towels and fitted sheets a bit of a workover - you know who you are - I see you).

You aren't lazy. You are over-functioning to restore order, just in the wrong place.

The Danger of Waiting for ‘Perfect’

The problem is, this need for order often bleeds into the important stuff of life, love and business.

I see this in my office all the time. Let me introduce you to Julian.

Julian is an engineer. Brilliant, meticulous, and deeply loving. He came to see me last week about getting his Will documents and estate planning finally sorted. Now, some people avoid this because they feel it’s a little morbid, or they’re just a little embarrassed it's taken this long to get around to. Julian wasn't avoiding it. He was optimising it.

He has been "drafting" his estate plan for four years. He has paid for three different legal drafts but signed none of them.

He sat at my table with the "Final Draft." It was 147 pages long. He had his red pen out. He wasn't looking at the big picture; he was looking at the grammar in Clause 14.2.

"I’m not sure about this definition of 'Incapacitated,'" he said, tapping the page with his red pen. "If I’m in a coma for only six days, this trigger feels too aggressive. Maybe we should extend it to ten? But then I was reading an article about a new tax structure for investment properties in SMSFs, and I’m wondering if we can transfer the assets tax-free upon a total permanent disability event, if I';m forced to retire medically unfit, specifically if we set up a private pension using a reversionary annuity structure to bridge the gap until the Centrelink asset-test provisions kick in at age 67? Maybe? Should we pivot to that?"

He looked up at me, expecting validation for his thoroughness.

He thought he was being prudent. We see this pattern all the time. I knew what he was really fighting for was a sense of internal, Compensatory Control.

He couldn't control the outcome (mortality is the ultimate chaos), so he was frantically trying to control the paperwork (order).

The Hard Question

I closed the folder. "Julian," I said. "We have been drafting this for 1,400 days. Can I ask you a straightforward question?"

"Would you rather leave your family a perfect problem, or an imperfect solution?"

• A Perfect Problem is that unsigned draft on his desk. It is legally thorough. It covers every tax angle. But if Julian walks out and gets hit by a bus today, that document is worthless. It is just a stack of paper and colour coded post-it notes. His daughters get nothing but a court battle.
• An Imperfect Solution is that document, signed today. It might have a typo. It might not be optimal for a tax law that might change in 2028 anyway. But it works. It shields them immediately.

Stop Polishing the Shield

And then the penny dropped - and clarity arrived. Julian realised that his ‘standards’ weren't protecting his family; they were exposing them.
He capped his red pen. He signed the messy, imperfect, valid document.

So, as you head into this year, take a look at what you are ‘polishing.’ If you're alphabetising your spice rack, but avoiding the conversation about your Will documents and life insurances, or researching the ‘perfect’ investment strategy but haven't checked your insurance beneficiary nominations in five years—pause.

Recognise the behavior. You are seeking order

But a perfectly organised garage won’t protect your family. A messy, signed safety net will.

This coming new year, stop trying to solve the feeling of chaos. You can't. Just sign the imperfect solution. Then you can go back to the Tupperware cupboard.

This psychological gap between "Intent" and "Action"—and how our own brains trick us out of protecting the people we love—is the core theme of my upcoming book, Life's Great Conversations. It’s not just a guide to the law; it’s an operating manual for your own brain.

Join the waitlist below.

Drew Browne is a specialty Financial Risk Advisor working with Small Business Owners & their Families, Dual Income Professional Couples, and diverse families. He's an award-winning writer, speaker, financial adviser and business strategy mentor. His business Sapience Financial Group is committed to using business solutions for good in the community. In 2015 he was certified as a B Corp., and in 2017 was recognised in the inaugural Australian National Businesses of Tomorrow Awards. Today he advises Small Business Owners and their families, on how to protect themselves, from their businesses.  He writes for successful Small Business Owners and Industry publications. You can read his Modern Small Business Leadership Blog here. You can connect with him on LinkedIn.  Any information provided is general advice only and we have not considered your personal circumstances. Before making any decision on the basis of this advice you should consider if the advice is appropriate for you based on your particular circumstance.